I haven’t felt a moment of peace, a moment of complete silence, a moment of relaxation in such a long while. it has seemed like forever ago since I could feel my chest being lifted and floating away. no heaviness of deadlines, ignorance and self-doubt weighing me down. no fogged or clouded head weighing me down once again. the ability to be in the moment. the ability to be able to focus and not have everything so cloudy. the ability for it to not look as if i’m looking through a television screen. the ability to be able to be by myself but surrounded with others at the same time. the ability to not have self-doubt in what i do and who i am. the ability to be able to talk to people and not shy away. let’s just say, it has been a while since i have been able to look up at the sky into a sea of clouds or at the moon and feel at peace. it seems as if it has been three blue moons since the last time i was able to love myself and be free of my thoughts and those words of others that has seemed to have locked me up from the potential that i can put out. i hope one day, i can freely be myself. be happy. be able to look up at the sky and feel like i can fly without being pulled down from the heaviness of unhappiness that has settled within me.